People gawked at her each time we went out in public. I would throw daggers with my eyes trying to protect her. Every assumption that was made never took into account that her thyroid issues caused her 4'11 body to weigh over several hundred pounds. She taught writing at a women's prison. She wrote every day and traveled to places most people would only dream of. This was my grandma.
She stood by the monkey bars all by herself during recess as I walked with my 7th-grade peers to PE. She was all alone and no one was playing with her. She looked different than all the other students in Kindergarten through 12th grade, except one other student who only vaguely shared darker skin and he was a sophomore. This was my younger sister in a new town we moved to as children.
The bus driver told him to exit with the others, as a group of individuals from an assisted living group home were getting off the bus. He had entered the bus separately from the group, but the bus driver only noticed that he wore tainted clothing. He had been walking that day in the rain and his clothes were grungy from the dirt and rain. He encountered situations like this often, having to use public transportation. He was partially sighted, physically disabled, and no longer drove. This was my dad.
He was told he looked invisible by a peer in 4th grade and that he didn't belong. This comment was meant to say he wasn't dark enough for the area. He tried so hard to fit in throughout those couple of years. This was my son, many years ago.
Two colleagues spoke badly in Spanish about her as she stood in the same room with them, only 5 feet away. They thought she didn't speak Spanish because she didn't have the look; whatever that was. This was my mom.
They told him to run and when he said he couldn't because he had problems with his knees, they smirked and told him to stop messing around. Invisible disabilities aren’t easy for others to process. A doctor joked with him telling him to jump up and down. He told the doctor he did not think that was funny. This was my son, during his teenage years.
I was told maybe I should not talk too much about the disability I was diagnosed with as a child and let it go, so I can move forward. This was shared with me as a way to help me grow in my career, rather than being open about my experiences to help others embrace disability as a strength.
My lens in regards to diversity and inclusion has been shaped through these experiences and continues to morph the more I learn and grow. Bias surrounds us. Gravitating toward what we are unsure of and makes us uncomfortable can help us move beyond our biases and grow.
We all experience unconscious bias. The key is becoming aware of and reflecting on the roots that established those biases. Are you checking your unconscious bias?
Person’s legs in dirty boots standing on wet muddy ground.